


look at me like you love me

by vivalagay



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Single Parents, kyun is like... all antagonist vibes but i love him lmao, puppy cafés, single parent!jh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-12 03:51:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15331110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivalagay/pseuds/vivalagay
Summary: Jooheon is a single dad who doesn't remember what it's like to fall in love; Minhyuk is the cute puppy café owner who just makes it too easy.





	1. we're all cards on the table

**Author's Note:**

> kinda just experimenting how this process goes since the last time i posted a chaptered fic i dropped every single chapter in one night and that was like... two years ago... don't worry about me changing my style because i'm not :) idk how i feel about posting something i haven't finished but there's a sufficient amount of this already written that i think it should be all right ^^
> 
> sidenote: all my knowledge of four-year-old behavior comes from my niece so if jh's daughter seems too developed or underdeveloped... not my fault lmao

It's only twenty-five minutes past one, but Kihyun still opens the door with a short stare tinged with exasperation as if Jooheon knocked on it at midnight.

He's not invited in, like usual, vaguely acknowledged. For the sake of routine, Jooheon tries a small smile at Kihyun, testing the waters, and of course his shoulders don't drop when that blank stare is about as much of a reciprocation of amiability Jooheon should ever expect. 

"Jung Hee-yah," Kihyun sweetly calls into the house as if it's the lyrics to a song, "your dad is here!"

He can hear the tiny pattering of bare feet slapping against the hardwood floors before Jung Hee comes into view, toothy grin on full display. She runs into Jooheon's opened arms and graciously accepts the peppering of kisses to her cheeks with bursts of excited giggles, her arms snaking around Jooheon's neck when he kneels to her height. She seems so much bigger, so much heavier every time Jooheon sees her. Growing so much every single day.

"You've been eating well, haven't you?" Jooheon smiles. Jung Hee hums proudly, arms still dangling around his neck.

Her cheeks look so round with her short, black hair tied back with a fluffy scrunchie, a floral pin clipping her bangs from falling in her eyes. People say they look alike, but Jooheon only sees it in her cheeks. Her eyes are big and soft, two innocent coffee beans under short eyelashes, lips small and thin. But her apple cheeks ― they're all Jooheon. 

Jooheon fondly runs a hand along her hair, tugging a wavy strand behind her ear. "I missed you, baby girl."

"I missed you," she replies, beaming. "Am I going to Daddy's house?"

"Do you want to?" A small chuckle escapes his lips at the quick nod he's given. "All right. You have your bag?"

"It's in my room," Jung Hee tells him.

He smooths a hand over the back of her head, patting it gently. "Go get it and kiss Nana goodbye before you leave."

Quickly, Jung Hee scurries down the hallway that leads into the living room, the pattering of her small feet a soft rhythm until it disappears into a room. Jooheon awkwardly glances at Kihyun when he stretches back into his height, hands pocketing once he's grasped his attention again. He isn't sure why Kihyun makes him so nervous. Talking to him used to be easy. It still should be. 

"Soon Jung Hee's going to be living with me," he says matter-of-factly, in some attempt to come off firm and indisputable. Kihyun lifts his eyebrows at this, though it's still palpable how much of a joke he thinks Jooheon is. Arms crossed, weight leaned against the door. "Thought you should know."

"Who told you that?"

"I told me that." Jooheon flashes an unfitting smile, head cocking. Kihyun receives it with another scoff and amused chuckle that settles into another irritated frown. "She should be living with her father. Her grandparents and uncle shouldn't be raising her."

"Well, you tried to raise her before, and then you were kicked out of your apartment, remember?" Kihyun retorts.

Jooheon sighs, "I've been doing better. For Jung Hee."

Kihyun curiously scrutinizes him, like there'll somehow be an explanation written in the look Jooheon gives him.

"I told you I have my own place now. I'm working somewhere else now too. Pays well," he elaborates, that proud smile tugging back at his lips again. "I'm not living off minimum wage anymore."

Kihyun nods slowly. "I see. Good for you."

It seems rather genuine, like he might, quite possibly, actually be proud of him. Something tugs at Jooheon's heart, small and quick, and he thinks—a fleeting thought that barely bounces in his mind for a second—of the time they used to be friends. Before Kihyun started hating him. Before Jooheon had finally mustered the courage to utter a word to Kihyun's little sister.

They would sit together in the cafeteria sometimes, share conversations on the bus with loud laughter and lively words. Kihyun wasn't his best friend, or even that close of a friend, but his friend nonetheless. 

"Thanks," Jooheon smiles.

Kihyun nods again, eyes glancing to the house shoes on his own feet like he's embarrassed that he'd even bothered to give Jooheon a compliment. "Anyway, you should be living with your parents; you're not working for Samsung. And call me old-fashioned, but the eldest son should be taking care of his family."

And this —

it's what Jooheon  _does_  expect.

He sighs, again. "I'm not talking about this with you."

"Fine, it's your life," Kihyun shrugs. "But Jung Hee is happy here. We're the closest thing she has to her mom."

"I'm not going to be taking that away from her," Jooheon reassures him. More like,  _I'm not going to be taking that away from_ you _,_ which it seems Kihyun and his parents can't grasp the conceptof. "But she's my daughter. Once I get everything figured out, she's coming home."

Jung Hee returns at the door with a clear, plastic backpack that secures pale pink straps on her shoulders. A tablet is packed in the front with some fruit and animal crackers stored in a glittery pouch underneath it but barely any clothes folded inside. "Can we go now?"

"This is all Nana packed?" Jooheon asks. He squats to her height again with a curious glance up at Kihyun. "I don't think this is enough for two weeks."

"Two days," Kihyun corrects.

"What?"

"Jung Hee has school on Monday," he tells him, like Jooheon should already know this. "She started school a few weeks ago."

And it's not usual that anger churns inside of Jooheon, but he wants to ball up his fists, scream all the words buried inside of him that he's had to keep locked away to not make things any more difficult for him and Jung Hee.

Just —  _school?_

It's like their family couldn't careless about Jooheon's opinion on anything. Didn't even bother to call him, give him a heads up his four-year-old daughter started going to school. He didn't get to brush her wavy hair that morning and pin back her bangs with her favorite butterfly collection of hair clips, walk her into the building hand-in-hand, wave goodbye to her and maybe shed a few tears. He didn't get to pick her up once school was over and she's bubbling with excitement to tell her daddy the classmates she played with, the stories her teacher read to her, the new things she learned.

"Daddy will take you to school then." He still manages to smile sweetly, hands gentle when they rest on Jung Hee's tiny shoulders. She nods happily and takes her dad's hand when he stands to his feet. "I'll get you more clothes too. How does shopping sound?"

"Can I get an icecream?" Jung Hee asks, eyes sparkling with excitement.

He chuckles and affectionately pinches her cheek. "We'll stop by a convenient store on the way home, okay? Say goodbye to your uncle."

Kihyun hugs Jung Hee tightly as if she'll be gone for months, telling her to have fun. He pecks her lips and hugs her again before Jooheon carries his daughter on his back to the bus stop, her legs kicking happily at her father's sides.

"Nana made me rice with an egg this morning," she tells him, smiling brightly on his shoulder. "I helped. I'm a big girl, so I took the eggs out of the fridge. I drank a juice box too. Uncle Kyun gave me gummies after breakfast, but you can't tell Nana."

"It's a secret?" Jooheon asks.

She nods. "It's a secret."

"Then I'll make sure not to tell Nana."

She smiles, arms around his neck. "Are there gummies at your house?"

"No, there's no gummies. But I have tangerines. You like tangerines, don't you?" Excited, Jung Hee nods with a quiet hum and rests her head on his shoulder, and Jooheon wishes every day could be like this. He wishes every second he could be with Jung Hee, hear her voice, every word from her lips so animated and happy. She's so happy — a great big ball of sunshine and energy in such a little body.

She smiles, and Jooheon thinks that everything he's worked for these last few years is worth it. Working double-shift. Never really having anyone to speak to besides his co-worker when they're in between moving refrigerators and threatening the old vending machine in their department that is _always_ stealing their money. Nothing really matters as long as Jung Hee is smiling.  Whatever he has to do to keep her smiling — that doesn't matter either. A happy Jung Hee is the only thing he wishes from this world. The only thing he truly hopes that this shitty world can always give him.

It takes the subway and a bus to reach his street. Whenever Jooheon is going from the grandparents' house, he prefers walking from the subway to his home, but he doesn't want to tire out Jung Hee's legs. He's just glad the second ride to his place isn't too crowded. Jooheon is able to shove through with Jung Hee in front of him awkwardly leading wherever Jooheon directs her, probably used to the compact car Kihyun drives her around in where he no doubt sits in traffic most of the day. But it's fine since it's probably fancy. The seats probably heat up, and he probably blasts Jung Hee's favorite songs to distract her.

There's no way Jooheon could ever afford a car. Maybe the steering wheel of it. A used tire. He looks down at Jung Hee and wonders if it's time to start saving up.

"Jooheon-ssi!" a voice suddenly calls with a smile so audible in it, like a song that's chirpy and lighthearted. Jooheon's hands clasp on Jung Hee's shoulders, suddenly they're fidgety and clammy like they always are when he's nervous. He smiles at him.

_Minhyuk-ssi._

"And little Jooheon," Minhyuk adds with a friendly grin at Jung Hee who sheepishly smiles, head lowered. "You can sit in my seat, pretty."

He knows that anyone else would've given their seat up for Jung Hee, but Jooheon's heart still flutters nevertheless in a way that it always daftly does when he catches sight of Minhyuk. Minhyuk is so nice without even knowing him. He has never actually held a conversation with Minhyuk of nothing more than the casual exchange of words, but he is always kind and happy to see Jooheon when they run into each other. Like they're old classmates from high school, or something.

(A feeling of nonexistent familiarity that effortlessly tugs a smile on his lips when everyone else in Jooheon's life has disappeared into just teenage memories.)

Minhyuk stands and grips onto the handle as Jooheon plops into his seat, pulling Jung Hee into his lap. The woman beside them welcomes Jung Hee's presence with a wide smile.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing?" Minhyuk beams at Jung Hee. "You're so cute. Why have I never seen you before?"

"You'll see her a lot more. Right, Jung Hee-yah?"  Jooheon tells him. He playfully bounces her on his legs, and she smiles, quietly nodding without looking into Minhyuk's eyes.

"Your little sister?" Minhyuk asks. He's still smiling, his bright eyes amiably looking into Jooheon's.

He shakes his head. "Daughter."

And it's the part when the person can only really mutter a surprised _"oh"_ with atinge of confusion. Their eyes darting between the two of them, calculating, quickly doing the math in their head. Subtly coming to the realization that Jooheon had her in high school, probably thinking he's some rebellious delinquent, trying to dodge back and forth between possibilities of Jooheon just being older than he appears or Jung Hee possibly just being an insanely matured one-year-old. 

"Okay," Minhyuk utters. He buries his hand in his pocket and retrieves it with a caramel candy, reaching it out to her. "Can Jung Hee-yah eat caramel?"

"She likes caramel," Jooheon tells him. He catches the way Minhyuk's hair falls in his eyes, so long and pretty, too many days too long without a haircut, but Jooheon likes it. He could probably lace his fingers through those thick, sandy strands, pull them behind his ear so he can see his shining brown eyes better. 

"I can't take it," Jung Hee softly says, mostly to Jooheon. "I don't know you."

He and Minhyuk let out loud laughs. Jooheon fondly pats her head, smoothing his hand over her back.

"Smart one, isn't she?" he shamelessly brags. "It's okay to take the caramel. I'm here, and Minhyuk-ssi isn't a stranger. He owns a puppy café close to where I live."

Suddenly, she's intrigued, and finally looks up at Minhyuk with excitement and curiosity. "Are there puppies there?"

"Yes," Minhyuk happily replies. "It's sort of not really a puppy café right now. There are only two puppies, but Dambi and Yeoreum would be excited to play with you. I'm going there right now, actually."

"Daddy!" Jung Hee gasps. "Can I go play with the puppies?"

"Uh," Jooheon nervously smiles, glancing between Minhyuk and Jung Hee's wide grins, "maybe later. I was planning to have a picnic. There will probably be dogs at the park. I even prepared some gimbap."

"Okay, I like gimbap," Jung Hee nods after some contemplating.

"Maybe next time," Minhyuk shrugs. He gives Jooheon an amiable smile, and then Jung Hee, placing the caramel in her small hand.

"Tell oppa thank you," Jooheon says.

"Thank you, oppa," Jung Hee easily obliges. She's quick to unwrap the caramel and pop it in her mouth, humming around it happily as she rests in Jooheon's chest.

"You're teaching her politeness early," Minhyuk laughs with a raise of his brows.

Jooheon chuckles and shrugs, a nonchalant lift of his shoulder. "Politeness is important."

"I think so too," Minhyuk nods. He blinks unevenly, eyelids droopy as a hand pushing at his overgrown fringe. His fingers are long and slender pushing his hair back behind his ears, exposing his forehead, and Jooheon is so stupidly jealous of those fingers. He tears his eyes away to Jung Hee as she pulls a tablet from her backpack, turning it on and easily finding an app to entertain herself with. "Honestly, I wish people would be as excited as Jung Hee at the thought of seeing Dambi and Yeoreum."

"Customers don't like them?" Jooheon asks.

"No, everyone loves them. It's just"—he sighs, closing his eyes for a quick second as if just the thought of it exhausts him—"not enough customers come to love them. This month, I've really been spending more money to buy cream than selling the coffees that I put them in. And ugh, all the bills — it's a really big headache."

Jooheon frowns. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"The café is sort of all I have. I love it with all my heart." Minhyuk looks at him, this tinge of sadness in his eyes that tugs at Jooheon's heart. "I was so determined to open it after I came back from the military. I guess I ran at the opportunity too quickly."

"Don't say that," Jooheon tells him. "You wouldn't own the place if you didn't know what you were doing."

"My friends would say it's quite the opposite," Minhyuk laughs. He exhales a small, exasperated breath of air and briefly gazes out the window by Jooheon's head. It seems as if he's been keeping his frustration inside for some time, but now that he's rambled a little, a smile reaches his face more comfortably. The bus slows down, and he stretches his arms, blinking sleepily again with a small smile tugging at his lips. "This is my stop. I'll be waiting for you to come visit my café some day. And you, little Jung Hee."

Jung Hee barely tugs her eyes away from the screen of the tablet, but still offers Minhyuk a kind smile around the caramel in her mouth.

"Dambi and Yeoreum would absolutely adore you. Have fun at your picnic." Minhyuk touches her cheek affectionately and blinks up at Jooheon with a wide smile. 

Jooheon can't help but to smile back, maybe too widely or too quickly. Seemingly, his reflexes don't seem to care. "See you, Minhyuk-ssi."

The bus comes to a stop and Minhyuk nods at him before disappearing into the swarm of people. He's tall enough that Jooheon can follow his thick hair all the way through the crowd until it's bobbing down the steps and he's sauntering off down the street.

Jooheon exhales, dropping his head onto the window. He feels as if he's been holding his breath the moment he laid eyes on him.

Is he really that perfect? Is it even  _necessary_  to be that perfect, that gorgeous?  _Fuck._

He lifts his head and stares out the window again like Minhyuk will still be in sight. 

(And Jooheon's heart foolishly pounds in his chest anyway, as if he's still right there, smiling straight at him.)

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"Hyung," Minhyuk sighs. The door sweeps closed behind him as he steps into the kitchen, clipboard in hand that he carelessly tosses on the counter. 

(He should really be a bit more organized and maybe a bit more careful running his own business and all. He's contemplated it at least. Things as such can only be taken in a process.)

"The cake pops are for the customers, Hyunwoo hyung," Minhyuk tells him, frowning at the dumbfounded look on his employee's face. It's hard to, that is, because Hyunwoo is just so unintentionally cute with everything he does. Wide-eyed, the little crumbs building at his lips —  _aw_. Minhyuk just wants to brush the specks of cake off and pat his head, send him back off to work painfully boring, long hours on an awful minimum wage.

But no. Minhyuk has to be stern. He's a boss now, and he can't be gentle on Hyunwoo just because he has been his friend since his freshman year of college, and he's also the only one who can deal with Minhyuk's tragic state of disorganization and unprofessionalism. 

This job is becoming a hassle, really. Only having one employee who's also your best friend and eats everything they don't sell. Maybe this would be less of a problem if they could actually end the day before Hyunwoo starts taking himself for a sugar rush, but Hyunwoo is anything but patient when it comes to food.

"I love you," Minhyuk says, hands gently resting on Hyunwoo's broad shoulders, "but what goes inside of you will come out of your paycheck."

Hyunwoo contemplates this. "Then I can just keep eating."

"Okay, look, I know your paycheck is kind of shit —" 

Minhyuk pauses at the look Hyunwoo gives him.

"Fine, it  _is_  shit, but once this place starts booming with five-star reviews then you'll have a much bigger paycheck," Minhyuk promises. "And this place can't get booming if you're eating more than what the customers even come to buy."

"Well, I'll try to eat less cake pops. I'm cutting down my hours anyway."

And he just says this nonchalantly, grabbing another perfectly packaged cake pop to push into the pocket of his jeans.

"Cutting down your hours? Since when?"

"Oh," Hyunwoo murmurs as Minhyuk desperately follows behind to the kitchen sink, eyes wide and pleading, "I guess I forgot to tell you about that."

"Why would you cut your hours, hyung?"

"I felt like lower middle class before I started working here," Hyunwoo explains, still as casual as ever. He turns on the faucet and scrubs his hands underneath the water. "Now, I'm floating between an awkward stage of low class and poverty. Chewy is fun, but I could make more money mowing Hyungwon's lawn."

"Okay, true, but still," Minhyuk desperately whines. " _Hyung?_  Are you abandoning me? What about the dogs? Think about the children, hyung. We need you!"

"I know. I'm sorry. Maybe you can find someone else to work the other hours?"

As if it's that easy.

Minhyuk can barely pay Hyunwoo. And on top of that, he can barely keep enough profit for himself that doesn't go into Chewy or his single worker.

"If I had enough money to pay another employee, we wouldn't be having this problem," Minhyuk groans. He links onto Hyunwoo's arm, pouting. "Hyung, what would I do without you?"

"Maybe you could stop spending so much of Chewy's profit on the dogs," Hyunwoo suggests, turning off the faucet, and this — whatever the hell  _this_  is coming from — is an ultimate abomination to Minhyuk's whole business and all he ever stood for. Minhyuk did not start this business to be insulted with such iniquitous ideas. 

"Not to sound dramatic, but how dare you imply that our princesses' grooming and all-real dog food is not the most crucial element of Chewy's success?"

Hyunwoo shrugs and turns off the faucet. "Because it isn't."

Minhyuk gasps, chasing after him when he pushes through the doors of the kitchen. The shop is small and transparent, an orange sunlight spilling over the clean booths and hardwood floors graciously. "Dambi and Yeoreum are the real stars of this show, the true moneymakers of this business! They should be treated like the A list celebs they are."

"Dambi and Yeoreum would be perfectly fine if you just washed them in the bathtub upstairs with 2,000 won dog soap," Hyunwoo tells him. "Remember that time you professionally painted Dambi's nails? The dogs are living better than us."

Minhyuk stubbornly pouts, arms crossing. "So, what? You're saying I should start treating the puppies like trash because we're poor?"

Hyunwoo lets out a small laugh. "I'm saying you're awful with money."

And, unfortunately, he's right, which Minhyuk hates because  _he_  was the one who sat through all those boring workshops about entrepreneurship and dripped many teardrops on his laptop keyboard after always ending up having to finish things at last minute. He should be better with this.

Hyungwon had warned him. More than anything Minhyuk just wanted a puppy café where Dambi could make people happy and find new friends, and Minhyuk could be with dogs all day and happily serve drinks and desserts with his best friend. He feels sort of bad that he dragged Hyunwoo into this now. With all that Hyunwoo does—pitching in whenever he can, cleaning, working overtime—Minhyuk thinks that he should be paid a lot more. And that's the least he could do for him.

Maybe he should've taken up a longer finances course. Maybe then all these damn bills wouldn't be suffocating him to death.

"Fine," Minhyuk sighs, as if complying takes all the energy from his body, all the oxygen in his lungs. "I'll groom the puppies myself and stop Dambi and Yeoreum's appointments with their masseuse. But if even after that I still can't afford another employee prancing around here stuffing their face with frosting and taking all the money, then will you at least contemplate continuing to work your regular hours?"

"Sure," Hyunwoo easily agrees, "unless I quit before then."

Minhyuk frowns.

"I don't want to be mean, but the pay is awful."

"Fair enough."

The bell on the door chimes and Yeoreum, a fluffy golden retriever, scurries off, paws tapping along the floor, to welcome the visitors with amiable barks. A smile pulls on Minhyuk's face. Jooheon is here. His hair is styled on his forehead into a fluffy fringe Minhyuk doesn't get to see him on him often, and it's in the middle of April but he's dressed in a purple hoodie.

Little Jung Hee breaks away from his hand as soon as Yeoreum is in sight and happily ruffles her golden fur, accepting the animated licks she receives with delighted giggles. Dambi looks at them with disinterest and walks off to rest on the table of a yellow booth.

"Hi, Jooheon-ssi." Minhyuk waves, and Jooheon flashes a wide smile at him as he slowly approaches the counter. "Hi, Little Jung Hee!"

Jung Hee doesn't even glance at him from the sound of her name. Yeoreum has taken all of her attention, playfully running along with the child. Jung Hee's black, strappy flats happily slap back and forth through the entrance of the café, denim sundress flowing behind her. It's pure music to Minhyuk's ears. A whole symphony. His poor café finally has some sort of pulse.

He feels bad that no one new has bothered playing with Yeoreum and Dambi for a while. Dambi doesn't seem too affected by it, as long as Minhyuk is there to give her attention and affection whenever she insists, but it's only in Yeoreum's nature to want to be the golden retriever she is and play with someone freely.

Minhyuk chuckles. "I'll just let them have their fun."

"Your dogs are cute," Jooheon says.

"Thank you. I told you before you should come and see them," Minhyuk beams. He places a hand on Hyunwoo's shoulder. "Hyunwoo hyung, this is my... friend? His name is Jooheon."

Hyunwoo gives him a nod, smile pushing at his cheeks. "Hi, I'm Hyunwoo hyung —  Hyunwoo, I mean."

Jooheon laughs. "Nice to meet you."

"Can we help you with something?" Minhyuk asks. "Smoothies? Coffee? Cake? Today's special is rainbow cake."

"I'm sure Jung Hee would love that." Jooheon glances back at her, and then looks at the menu, considering the options written behind Minhyuk's head with a nervous smile. It's in Hyunwoo's ugly handwriting. Minhyuk's pretty sure the most eligible thing on that chalkboard is the puppies and coffee he drew himself.

"It's hard to read, right?" Minhyuk chuckles. He looks behind his head. "What are you looking at? The desserts?"

"I see that cake is 10,000 won, but what's the price for just a slice?"

"Actually, the slice is what's 10,000 won," Minhyuk explains with a small laugh. Jooheon slowly blinks, brows lifting. "Trust me, the serving size matches the price. It could probably even be eaten by more than two."

Jooheon nods. "Oh. Okay, got it."

He contemplates the menu some more, glancing back at Jung Hee running with Yeoreum, then the servings written on the chalkboard in yellow and white, the various slices of cake on display in every imaginable color. Jooheon clasps his hands behind his back.

"Uh —"

"The cupcakes are cheaper if..." Jooheon's tanned cheeks turn a soft red, and Minhyuk knows quite easily that he has said the wrong thing.

_Shit, shit. Make it better, Minhyuk._

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that," he quickly says with a wave of his hand. Minhyuk tries a laugh because it's all just a little, funny misunderstanding. Jooheon pulls out his wallet with his lips pushed in an incomprehensible thin line. "You — how about a discount? Because we're friends? I can give you thirty-five percent off." 

"Is that a good deal?" Jooheon asks, but Minhyuk is already typing the order into the cash register with nervous fingers. Honestly, even Hyunwoo could have handled this conversation with more ease. "Sorry, I'm bad at math. It doesn't matter. The discount is fine. Thanks."

"Do you want anything else besides the cake?" 

Jooheon looks at the menu again, credit card in between his fingers. "Not really. Just water."

"There are pitchers of water by the booths. Your total is 6,500 won." Minhyuk waits for him to swipe his card, then hands him the receipt with a bright smile. "Thank you. You can choose which cake you want from the display."

They sit in a booth with Jooheon's back to the cash register because he's too embarrassed to even look at Minhyuk anymore. Jung Hee sits across from him with Yeoreum by her side obediently waiting as she happily eats off the plate that Hyunwoo handed to him, frosting smeared on her mouth.

"You're frowning, Daddy," Jung Hee notes. She blinks at him curiously with her innocent, wide eyes, smearing more buttercream frosting on her lips with a plastic spoon at the next bite she takes. "We have rainbow cake. You should be happy."

"Daddy is happy. Are you happy?" His daughter quickly nods and Jooheon smiles. He pushes the cup of water closer to her. "Good. Drink some water."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Jooheon's happy with his apartment, even if it takes three sets of stairs before he's unlocking the door to lightly colored hard wooden floors and all-white everything. The balcony floods in a nice leak of sunshine and the complex is near the subway, so it's perfect.

It'll become more messy with time, less vacant and more Jooheon. But right now the living room is just a wide space with a TV on the floor and a dark blue sofa that faces it. A door slides open to his bedroom where the bed is sort of small and a dresser is pushed against the wall with everything that he hasn't had enough time busying himself with organizing is thrown on, but on his nightstand there is a framed collage of Jung Hee developing up to a smiling two-year-old.

It's the only photo he has printed out of her, besides the ultrasound photos. But Jung Hee's ultrasounds makes him think of Jung Hee's mom, so Jooheon had given that to her parents along with numerous of other things that made him think of her.

It'll get better with time. His place, that is. Jooheon knows because he works hard, and soon the next sliding door where the space is just filled with boxes will soon be a bedroom with a twin-sized bed covered with plush dolls and fluffy pillows, a plastic pink dresser where small outfits will lie, books and toys messily scattered across the floor and glow-in-the-dark stickers lighting up the walls as a constellation all for Jung Hee.

"You'll have your own room soon," Jooheon tells her after they crawl into bed and she snuggles into his side.

Jung Hee looks up at him with a smile, eyelids droopy, black hair still damp from her bath. "When?"

"Soon. You're going to be with me much more often," he promises. "You'll have your own bed, and everything. Anything you want, I'll put in your room, okay?"

"Okay," she nods, "will Yeoreum be able to stay?"

"Yeoreum is Minhyuk oppa's dog," Jooheon laughs. "I don't think so, sweetie."

She pauses. "Oh. Can't he stay with her then? Oppa is nice."

Jooheon shakes his head, softly chuckling as he tucks the comforter underneath her arm. "Jung Hee-yah, it's nine. Go to sleep now."

It takes a few more words of empty chatter before Jung Hee finally drifts off on her dad's shoulder. Jooheon gently moves her aside, tucking her in bed securely before plopping on the chair on his balcony, some inexpensive bottled smoothie he saw at the convenient store in hand. 

He looks out at the purple night, and Jooheon knows quite well that this feeling — some feeling of loneliness that comes out of fucking nowhere, tugging painfully at his chest, choking him up a little — is ridiculous. An outright joke, rather,  because he's happy. He's content. Jooheon doesn't need some other unnecessary presence in his life to make him feel safe and validated. There's no one sitting beside him and he's fine with that. 

And of course Jooheon has to be careful with who he lets in his life now. He has a daughter. An innocent, bright, and smart sunshine in his life who doesn't need to be let down any more than she already has.

So, it doesn't matter. This feeling — wherever the fuck it came from — it doesn't matter.

It's him and Jung Hee against the world. That's all he cares about. Needs, anyway.

Jooheon drops his phone in his lap and exhales slowly. He rests his head on the back of the chair, taking a swig of strawberry and banana and quietly looking into the city alone.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"You've been picking her up from school at one o'clock every day, right?" Kihyun questions, frantic almost. He's like a drug addict experiencing withdrawal whenever Jung Hee is away. Jooheon wishes whenever he takes Jung Hee home he could just be trusted to be a good father. 

"Yes," he grumbles lowly into the mic so Kihyun can hear him. His earphones are a jumbled mess in his ears as he pushes a mini cart through the meat aisle. Kihyun always seems to call at the most inconvenient times. 

"Are you sure? Because I never pick up Jung Hee late. I'm always at the building ten minutes early. She could get anxious if you wait too long to pick her up..." 

Jooheon hums here and there as he continues, letting Kihyun know that he's listening, although he's really just contemplating the prices of beef. He's thinking of making cold noodles tonight. He doesn't really think the weather is hot enough, but Jung Hee is too sensitive to the heat and Jooheon doesn't dare lay any one of his fingers on the A/C unless he's freezing or overheating to his very last breath.

"Hey," Jooheon interrupts, "what's your recipe for naengmyeon?"

Kihyun snorts (actually snorts,) "Don't tell me  _you're_  going to try to cook. Jung Hee isn't invincible. She could get food poisoning."

"Whatever. I just want her eating homemade."

"There's only a week until she comes back. Just get her something from a restaurant. At home, me and my mom cook her lots of homemade meals, so she'll be fine," Kihyun tells him. It's like he's bragging, and it doesn't take a lot for Jooheon to realize he's actually  _gloating_ over this.

What a fucking —

Jooheon doesn't know why he even bothered.

"My mom wants her back here at ten AM, just so you know," Kihyun says. "Jung Hee needs to get her hair done for church."

"Your mom can do her hair at five. That's when I'll be bringing her back."

"I'm not going to tell her that for the sake of your life. Jung Hee is getting her hair done at eleven. At a salon."

"Why does Jung Hee need a stylist for church? What happened to 'come as you are'?" 

"I bet you know a lot about that," Kihyun laughs softly, "seeing as that grill you had in high school was quite the catch, wasn't it?"

Jooheon rolls his eyes. It's amazing how Kihyun just will not let him live. A true talent, really. "Can you get over that already? It was literally a one day thing."

"Thank goodness."

Jooheon inhales, holding his breath tightly in his chest as Kihyun laughs manically through his earphones. He finally decides on what beef would be best (and cheapest) for his naengmyeon and places it in the cart.

"Anyway," Kihyun begins, barely breathing, "ten AM, right?"

"Five PM," Jooheon corrects.

"Fine. Be stubborn." With that, he hangs up on Jooheon, leaving him to scoff and messily shove his earphones back into the pocket of his jeans. Kihyun is really something else, and a lot of other words.

It's like Kihyun is his ex-wife, or the nightmare baby mama he looks back on and wonders what even made him sleep with her. It's tiring, honestly. Jooheon was terrified finding out he was going to be a father at eighteen, but this —

the worst he considered wasn't even the worst to come.

Jooheon pushes his cart to the fruit aisle, and he wonders what his life would be like if Jung Hee's mom was still around.

They would probably be married by now. Single moms aren't really a thing, and even though Jooheon doesn't actually know if he was ever  _in love_  with her, she was caring and nice. And, of course, there is a reason Jung Hee is so pretty. Jooheon did have help with making such a cute face.

One thing he does know is that Jung Hee's mom would have done a better job with taking care of Jung Hee than Jooheon does, and maybe that adds onto another reason why Kihyun and his parents despise him so much.

They think it's unfair their younger sister and loving daughter was taken away from them so early and Jooheon still lives, taking up space and "getting in the way" of their relationship with Jung Hee. Kihyun would probably run him over with a truck and reverse over his body if the police could never link it back to him. He's probably scheming it right now. His parents are probably digging the grave.

But Jooheon doesn't hate them. He can't, anyway. Sometimes he does. Kihyun and his parents annoy him so much that sometimes he wishes he could just take Jung Hee and run for the next flight to Japan. But even if they hate Jooheon's existence and don't ever trust him with doing anything right, they love Jung Hee a lot. They've raised her well and taught her things Jooheon lost his chance to. They take such good care of her—better than he can—so he can't hate them. No matter how much he wants to.

A small exhale of exasperation leaves Jooheon lips as he pushes his cart of naengmyeon ingredients and snacks (because he knows Jung Hee will jump with excitement at having more gummies,) trying to find something healthy she can munch on for breakfast the next few days.

Jooheon leans on the cart, absently humming along to the ballad softly playing, and wheels himself to strawberries, tossing it in, finding a few bruise-free red apples to add to it. By then, Jooheon can only afford to throw in three bananas, and he sort of feels like crying.

Not because he's broke—he's bit-by-bit coming to terms with that—but he really doesn't know how people do this.

He's a single father.  _A single father_ , and on top of that, he has no friends.

It's his day off from work and he's at the grocery store picking out meals for his  _child_ who he has to pick up from kindergarten in the next two hours _._ For fucks sake, Jooheon istwenty-three-years-old and spends every day of his life sweating and moving around fucking refrigerators on wheels. A right riot he is. Living up his early twenties the only way a man can. Go him.

Jooheon sniffs, and that's enough to have him battling against tears that pathetically spill down his cheeks. There's so much to wipe away, to catch in his hands.  _God._  Jooheon didn't even know he had this much water in his body.

He tries to hide it behind his arm when his hands become so wet that he's just smearing tears all over his face, and he tries so hard to silence the tiny hiccups that leave his lips, but it becomes of no use. People nearby are already giving him awkward and slightly concerned glances over their shoulders.

Jooheon is such the prime example of a person. An entire role model father. It's Thursday, and he's crying in his sleeve beside a crate of pineapples.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Minhyuk never knew what this place would be like without Hyunwoo around. He never had to. Without Hyunwoo in the puppy café—eating to his heart's content, making jokes that are oddly funny, a smile spread on his face because Hyunwoo is either  _always_  smiling or staring off into nothingness—it's lonely.  _So_  lonely. Minhyuk misses him. His best friend. His big bear.

He sighs, and he wonders if it has really been only two hours since Hyunwoo left for his other job. His  _better_  job, since apparently Chewy isn't good enough for him. The puppy café is a process, just how Minhyuk becoming a better owner is a process, and if he didn't love Hyunwoo so much he'd fire him as soon as Chewy blossomed into the amazing daisy it's going to be when people finally start to realize that Dambi and Yeoreum with Americanos is the best way to spend your day.

Hyunwoo is such a traitor.

But at least he promised to take Minhyuk out to dinner with his first paycheck. What a man.

The business had in fact picked up a little. A few new customers entered the store during the lunch hour and ordered drinks, sitting down at booths to play with Dambi and Yeoreum before gathering their bags and empty cup and leaving with smiles.

Minhyuk hopes more people start finding out about them. Even some foreigners had come in to order and play with the puppies. One of these days his shop will be big enough to rescue even more puppies from shelters, and then the whole shop will be full of puppies running around and sniffing for love and affection at every corner.

It'll be such a big happy place, which is Minhyuk's only hopes and dreams for Chewy. If he can just fucking make it there.

Just — there is no option for Chewy to shut down. Minhyuk doesn't care where he has to find money and what lengths he has to go to get it; he will protect his puppies and this business with his life.

(And he sort of lives upstairs so losing Chewy would also leave him homeless.)

The bell jingles at the door, Yeoreum barks, and naturally Minhyuk's eyes find the entrance with a wide grin on his face. Little Jung Hee is here.

His smile drops.

"Jung Hee-yah," he says, quickly moving from behind the counter. Her eyes are wide and teary, a red tint to her honey-colored skin that frightens him. Minhyuk carefully kneels in front of her and places two, gentle hands to her shoulders. "You're here by yourself?"

Jung Hee slowly nods.

"Where's your dad?" Minhyuk asks.

"At the house." Her voice comes out so tiny Minhyuk has to lean in closer to understand her. "Daddy is sick. He needs help."

Minhyuk pauses, eyes widening. He quickly nods. "Okay. All right. I can help. Can you tell me where he is?"

In response, Jung Hee takes him by the hand. Minhyuk can only lock the door of the café before the child is dragging him along with quick footsteps. It's a longer walk than he expects. He and Jooheon have only really ran into each other around town, random places, usually the subway, or on a bus. Minhyuk's in awe a child could have come so far on just two legs, could've perfectly remembered where Minhyuk was located after merely one visit.

Minhyuk scurries behind Jung Hee up three sets of stairs before the two are rushing through the door of an unlocked apartment.

From first glance, it seems like no one has really been in here. Even the TV is on the floor, left unplugged. Maybe Minhyuk shouldn't have been so trusting in a little girl's navigational skills.

He curiously looks down at her, but then his hand is desperately tugged, Jung Hee looking up at him with panic he's never seen on a child's face, and he has no choice but to follow her. Their shoes pound against the floor—Minhyuk would really feel bad about this if they have the wrong place—and then she struggles to slide a door open.

At first, it's just a messy room, but then Minhyuk spots a headful of fluffy, brown hair behind the ruffled sheets of the bed. Then, Jooheon.

He's, well, breathing, it seems, which is good. But Minhyuk can easily tell he's out of it.

Skin pale, Jooheon sits on the floor by his bed, legs tucked underneath him, a hand pressed to his forehead.

"Jooheon-ssi?" Minhyuk calls. He eases Jung Hee aside, giving her shoulder a little squeeze of  _don't worry, I'll take it from here,_  and hurries to Jooheon's side. "Are you okay? Does your head hurt? I'm calling an ambulance."

"Don't," Jooheon utters.

He reaches for the bed, but it's just an empty space that he tries to balance himself on. Minhyuk catches him in his arms before he can topple over onto the floor. 

"It's fine. I'm fine. I'm okay," Jooheon quietly grumbles. He looks at Jung Hee who stands at the door with wide, fearful eyes, and his cheek is still pressed to the fabric of Minhyuk's shirt when he frowns at her. "Jung Hee-yah, I told you to go play with your toys. Daddy is just dizzy."

 _Just dizzy._  Minhyuk inwardly scoffs and calls an ambulance. 

There's not much Minhyuk can think to do while they wait. Jooheon gives some attempts to pull away from him only to end up with his cheek pressed to Minhyuk's chest again. Eventually he just gives up and groans softly, letting himself be patted gently on the back like a baby because that's the only help Minhyuk can be until the paramedics tread through the door.

"I really don't feel that bad," Jooheon tries to convince the man that helps him onto the stretcher. "I'll be okay after a few painkillers. My daughter is only four; she doesn't understand that it's not a big deal."

"That's okay," the paramedic tells him, shooting a kind smile for Jung Hee over his shoulder. "We'll just bring you in and see what's up."

Minhyuk kneels down to Jung Hee once Jooheon is rolled out of the apartment grimacing. She frowns at him, her little legs slightly trembling under her denim shorts.

"You're so smart, you know that?" Minhyuk beams at her and pats her cheeks. It doesn't seem to bring her any sort of comfort that he hoped for. "Your dad will be all right. Don't worry, okay?"

Slowly, she nods, avoiding his eyes.

"Do you know where your family is?" Minhyuk questions. She shakes her head, fading his smile into furrowed brows of concern. "No? What about your mother?"

"She died."

Minhyuk winces. "Oh."

He blames how terribly he's speaking on the fact his heart is still pounding manically in his chest. Minhyuk feels awful that he even asked, but then again, there was really no way for him to have known that. It's not like he really knows Jooheon well enough anyway. It hasn't even been that long since he found out he had a daughter.

"Are you sure you don't know where your family is?" Minhyuk tries again, because it wouldn't hurt. There had to be somewhere Jung Hee has been staying for the times he always saw Jooheon without her. And, besides, he's close to gracing desperation. "How about a phone number? Have you ever had to remember one?"

"My uncle used to sing me a song to remember his number."

A smile breaks out on Minhyuk's face, sigh of relief exhaled from his lips. He pulls out his phone, hands clammy and unsteady, and types in his passcode with frantic fingers. "Let's call your uncle then. Do you think he would be able to come and get you?"

She nods, and then quietly sings a string of numbers that Minhyuk types into his phone. At first the second ring sends him to voicemail, but Jung Hee leaves him a message with her shaken voice and Minhyuk's phone rings instantly.

"Hello —"

 _"Jung Hee-yah!"_ he interrupts. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Um," Minhyuk stammers, "Jung Hee is beside me, and she's fine. Just a little shaken up. There was a situation with her dad —"

"Of course," the man huffs, swearing under his breath. "What happened to him now? Don't tell me he left her somewhere."

"No, no, no. Jooheon is just sick. He's going to the hospital, and it was sort of sudden so I was left with her. It's not a problem that I'm with her, but —"

"Hospital?" There's silence for a few heartbeats. He can hear a car door slam closed, an engine roaring to life. "Can you send me your address? I'll come as soon as I can."


	2. a sliver of light

"Your stats are awful," the nurse tsks, shaking her head with blatant disapproval at the clipboard in her hand. Jooheon frowns and takes another small sip of the water brought to him. "You're lucky your body didn't entirely shut down. You've been eating regularly, right? Getting all your daily nutrients?"

"Of course," Jooheon answers automatically.

"Do you remember the last time you had a meal?"

Jooheon thinks, and then stutters. He had breakfast this morning, right? He remembers cutting and mashing avocados, toasting bread, but he doesn't exactly remember eating it. All he can seem to remember is when he gave it to Jung Hee and poured her a glass of milk.

What did he do after that? Just sit and watch TV? Did he do the same thing yesterday and the week before?

"I guess I've been forgetting to eat," Jooheon murmurs. The nurse shoots another scolding look of judgment and jots it down on the papers.

"What about water?"

Jooheon thinks the answer to that should be a given since he is living and breathing―you need water to survive, of course―but he thinks and realizes there's no memory of him drinking anything yesterday, or maybe a day ago. Only memories of opening Jung Hee's juice boxes, turning on the filter on the kitchen sink faucet to pour her a glass of water when she returns home from school. 

Some things begin to make a bit more sense now, like randomly crying in the fruit aisle a week ago. Jooheon isn't quite sure how his body has been able to manage pushing refrigerators from morning to afternoon every day without ultimately collapsing. There was always an explanation for his exhaustion and headaches ― he should've slept longer; it's hot; the world only dips because I stood up too fast ― so many other easy sources of stress he could brush away any possibility of concern with and swallow a painkiller.

The nurse sighs at the silence she's met with. "Lee Jooheon, you shouldn't be living like this. You have to eat and keep hydrated to stay alive."

"It's hard to remember," Jooheon sheepishly confesses. "I have a daughter who takes up a lot of my time when she's around. The day passes really quickly ― anyway, do you know if she's here yet? Her name is Jung Hee. I left her at my apartment with a guy named Minhyuk when the ambulance came."

"I'm not sure, but I'll find out, okay?" She looks at her clipboard, eyes skimming whatever other terrible stat of Jooheon's health that's printed there before looking up at him again. "Can you tell me the last time you slept?"

"I slept last night," Jooheon answers. He smiles smugly because that is in fact something he does remember doing. He managed to get Jung Hee to wind down by six-thirty and fall asleep by seven, and he fell asleep beside her maybe an hour later. At least that's something he did do right.

"Good. So, right now you've got to get something other than soup in you," she says, more so murmuring to herself as she flips through the papers on her clipboard. "I'll come back shortly to bring you medicine and a real meal. Is there anything else you need?"

"Can you please get this IV out of me?" Jooheon quickly asks. He tries smiling sweetly at her, blinking cutely and glancing at the needle in his arm, but his attempts are instantly shot down at the bland stare he's given.

"You're dehydrated and starved. Let us do our job," the nurse tells him. Jooheon pouts. "Anything else?"

"No," he grumbles.

Despite himself, he tries to force down the meal he's served, jaw stiff as he chews. Jooheon's just too nervous to feel hungry, but he knows that he has to eat, and he knows the small cups of water given to him every once in a while is necessary, so he takes small, spacious sips like he's told he should. 

Jooheon's aware he should feel more alarmed about his health. He's stunned, sure, but he keeps finding himself more concerned with Jung Hee. He doesn't know whether she's okay or not after seeing him like that, or if she feels guilty after he scolded her for getting Minhyuk to help when she was only worried about him.

Great going for him. In just a matter of seconds he managed to be a dick to his daughter, and then make a complete fool of himself in front of the only person who has bothered to show him any form of kindness these days.

And on top of that, said person is  _gorgeous_. So pretty and so fucking soft around the edges, and Jooheon hideously flopped around in his arms like a limp noodle.

He's doing so well at this life thing that it's amazing, really. Nearly shutting down his own body, ruining his social status — what's next? Jooheon can't wait to find out what other ways he can just be the greatest man there is. 

 _"Jesus Christ."_ Jooheon stiffens just from the mere sound of his voice, praying to every God who's willing to listen that it will go away. Just vanish into silence. "You look awful, Jooheon-ah! God, what is  _wrong_  with you?"

Jooheon rolls his eyes. "Hi, Kihyun."

Kihyun doesn't look happy to see him. In fact, he glares as he steps into the room with Jung Hee and Minhyuk trailing in after him in small, awkward steps.

"I've already spoken to the nurse, and she told me everything," Kihyun says in full parental mode. He walks to the bed in quick strides before snatching the pillow from underneath his head and fluffing it a little too aggressively. "Not eating? Not drinking? You could've _died,_ and what would we have done then?"

"Throw a party?" Jooheon prompts

Kihyun stares, and then lets out a small laugh, practically jabbing the pillow back under him. "You — I have no words."

Jooheon finds Jung Hee behind one of Minhyuk's long legs, holding him tightly the way she used to when she was younger and every stranger wanted to coo at her. She shyly peeks from behind him like she's terrified to even look at Jooheon and it breaks his heart.

"Jung Hee-yah," he sweetly calls, "come here."

There's a heartbeat of hesitation as she evaluates the situation from behind Minhyuk, and then, easily, scurries over to his bed once she deems it safe.

"Your arm," Jung Hee murmurs.

Jooheon furrows his brows, and then follows her eyes where the IV is taped to him. A sigh of relief escapes him, like suddenly his chest doesn't feel too tight. The guilt in his belly fades and his heart tugs in admiration at how lovely she is. So innocent and oblivious. "It's okay. This helps Daddy feel better."

"You're not hurt?"

"No." He grins and smooths a hand over her hair, bringing a tiny smile to her lips. "Thanks to you, Daddy is okay."

"Just so you know, I'm taking her home with me," Kihyun nonchalantly interrupts.

And of course, like Jooheon's baby mama does so naturally, the moment is ruined.

Jooheon wishes he could just pull Jung Hee in his arms, hold her tightly and keep her there with him, but even if he hates giving Kihyun what he wants, he knows it's best for her to go home with him. There's a chance he might not even be able to go home tonight. It doesn't make sense why he can't be discharged if he isn't on the verge of death. Which he―as far as he knows―isn't. The nurse only had the obvious answer to give him that pretty much provided no explanation.

"You want to go home with uncle Kihyun?" Jooheon asks her. It's important for him to keep his voice gentle and fond whenever he's speaking to Jung Hee, even when he's stressed, and honestly, it isn't as hard as it maybe is supposed to be. Just looking at her calms him. And anyway, he's only ever really worried about what he knows is best for her. What he knows is the only option.

Jung Hee gives a slow nod.

"Well, all right." And he tries to smile, but there's a strange tinge of sadness that pangs at his chest.

"I need to talk to you later," Kihyun warns him. It seems like a threat. At this point, it's almost like every word coming from Kihyun's lips for Jooheon comes off as a threat. He takes Jung Hee by the hand and shoots Minhyuk a bright smile Jooheon can't even remember the last time he has ever seen on him. "You need a ride home?”

"I'm good. Thank you," Minhyuk nods. He smiles back at him, and then happily waves at Jung Hee, gently squeezing her small hand as the two of them pass by him to reach the door.

Kihyun abruptly pauses in the doorway. "Tell me when you're released, and I'll drive you home."

"What?" Jooheon stammers.

Kihyun rolls his eyes and loudly repeats it as if Jooheon’s hearing is impaired. "And if you don't tell me when you're released, then Minhyuk will. So either way I'll be here to pick you up. Don't be difficult."

With that, he saunters out with Jung Hee following along with a hand waving at him and Minhyuk until her small smile disappears down the hall.

A weight is lifted from him, a breath of exasperation and something like relief instantly escaping his lips. Jooheon falls back on the pillows that Kihyun not-so nicely fluffed, eyes fluttering closed.

He's exhausted. It's not a surprise seeing as Kihyun only naturally drains all the energy from Jooheon's body when he speaks to him. He’s like a parasite.

He opens his eyes to the water still left for him in a paper cup, takes a few short sips, and it's when he fixes his eyes on Minhyuk's small smile and nervous glances of concern across from him it actually hits him they've been left alone. Together.

There's a lot Jooheon wants to say to him. _Needs_ to say, anyway. Mostly, he wants to apologize, and then thank him. But Jooheon finds himself doing neither. He fiddles with the sheet draped over his body and shyly smiles.

"How is Kihyun planning for you to get in touch with him?" he asks. The only words he can think of to spark a conversation.

"We exchanged numbers in the car.” Minhyuk’s footsteps are slow as he reaches him, but then he pulls the chair across the room closer to Jooheon's hospital bed and plops down beside him.

"Why would you do that?"

"I told him my café is close to where you live. It's probably a good idea for us to keep in contact. In case you ever faint any time soon, I mean, then I'd have contact with your brother."

"Brother?" Jooheon snorts. He brings a palm to his mouth, laughing loudly. "No, no, no, I would probably be dead by now if Kihyun was my brother."

"Oh, well, I was thinking to myself you guys look really different," Minhyuk quietly laughs. "But give me a break, looks mean nothing sometimes."

Jooheon laughs again. "No."

Minhyuk shoots him a smile, and Jooheon can oddly feel his cheeks growing warm just looking at the brightness of it. "I was really worried about you, Jooheon-ssi."

"I'm sorry. About everything."

Minhyuk cocks his head, curious, his lips still tugged into a friendly smile. "You're sorry for not feeling well?"

"I mean," Jooheon sheepishly shrugs, an awkward laugh leaving his lips because he's always so terrible with speaking to Minhyuk, so anxious, "we don't really know each other that well, and then I just randomly left you with my kid like that —"

"In an ambulance that Icalled for you," Minhyuk reminds him.

"Well, yeah, but still. I'm still sorry about this. I'm less of a burden usually, and," Jooheon looks down at the sheet pulled over him knowing the flimsy hospital top and pants he's wearing underneath it, "more attractive."

Minhyuk lets out a laugh. He rests his hand on the blanket where Jooheon's thigh is, just simply pats it like it's nothing. "I love Jung Hee. She's cute, like her dad. Don't worry about it."

And it's really okay that Minhyuk thinks he's cute. The little fact doesn't make Jooheon's hands clammy and speed up his heart. That's for teenagers, anyway, all uncontrollable hormones and blushing when their crush is merely a mile away.

Jooheon smiles at him, absently fisting the sheets in his hands. "Um," he utters, "so, anyway, is Hyunwoo watching over the shop while you're here?"

"Nope," Minhyuk replies. "But I called him and asked if he could properly lock it up. Hopefully while I was gone no one figured out how to break inside."

"You should have left with Kihyun when he asked you about it."

"Hyunwoo hyung will check on it, don't worry. I wanted to stay here."

Jooheon doesn't know why in the hell he would want to do that. The room is boring and awful. But he smiles and flutters his closed, a sigh pushing through his nose. He releases the sheet from his fists.

"Well, thanks," Jooheon says, finally. Minhyuk probably smiles, but Jooheon is too shy to open his eyes and look at it.

"Of course," Minhyuk chirps. "You don't have to struggle alone, you know? Sometimes it's hard to remember to take care of yourself, and it's probably even harder remembering when you have to take care of Jung Hee too."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Your situation seems like a lot, and about Jung Hee's mom..." Minhyuk pauses, watching the way Jooheon suddenly stiffens underneath the bedsheet, his fist once again curled in it tightly. "...it's sad you and Jung Hee have to go through that, and I'm sorry if I'm out of line for bringing it up. I just wanted to say I'm here to talk if you ever need to. And if there's a time you just need a break or something, Dambi and Yeoreum are always free to play with Jung Hee."

A smile tugs at his lips. Wavering and weak, but a smile. How could he not smile? "She really likes Yeoreum, doesn't she?"

"She does. She's so cute." 

Jooheon quietly chuckles. He lets out a yawn and tugs the bedsheet closer over his body, wrapping it over his shoulders, and he wonders how someone so nice could ever want anything to do with him. It feels like it should be a trap, almost, like there's no way anyone could be nice to him, like any good could possibly be given to him, like soon enough Minhyuk will just be another loss in his life.

But in a few minutes Minhyuk has done more for him than anyone has in the past five years, for whatever reason. And honestly, he doesn't want or even need to know a reason. He just wants to be grateful for one thing. Even if it's for a little while.

"There were birth complications when Jung Hee was born. It's how her mom died," Jooheon tells him quietly, staring at the empty hospital bed across from his own. "I don't really talk about her. Jung Hee doesn't bring her up that much either. Sometimes Kihyun talks about her because she was his little sister, but I've just been sort of numb to it for a few years, so you don't have to feel sorry."

Minhyuk frowns, brown eyes soft and sad in the way Jooheon usually hates being looked at. "I'm still going to feel sorry, Jooheon-ssi."

"I know, but," he pauses, sucking in a tight breath, "it's easier this way. If you pity my situation, then it'll really be the end of me. Honestly, I rather push away all the bad things; forget about what happened in the past. Focus on what matters."

"Like Jung Hee," Minhyuk offers.

Jooheon smiles, instinctively. Even the sound of her name fills him with so much happiness. "Exactly. Jung Hee's awesome. She's the only thing I can say I've done right in my life."

Minhyuk nods again, but the smile he pulls his lips into seems forced. So sad and thoughtful.

And _ugh_ ― it sucks because this isn't the way Jooheon wanted Minhyuk to see him. This isn't the way he _ever_ wanted Minhyuk to see him.

It felt nice having a person separated from his mess of a life. The casualness and spontaneity of carrying some loose friendship―if that's even what it is between them―by sudden paths being crossed through their small dong, sharing amiable conversations that Minhyuk probably forgets of right when he walks away from him but always leaves Jooheon with a smile on his face. With a purpose.

He didn't want Minhyuk to ever know this. How he falls apart. How he sucks at life.

Because he knew Minhyuk would feel sorry, and he knew Minhyuk would see him as some tragic story to help fix the ending of, and Jooheon just doesn't want that. He only wants Minhyuk to be his friend and maybe more than his friend, but that's a different story.

"Anyway," Jooheon coughs, swallowing awkwardly around the lump in his throat, "have you eaten yet?"

It's an awful transition, but Minhyuk is at least understanding enough to just go along with it. He's so wonderful, and here Jooheon is ― a whole mess.

"I'll eat soon." He yawns and stretches his long arms, softly smiling at Jooheon with glistening eyes. "Do you really want me to leave?"

 _No,_ is what Jooheon wants to say. He doesn't want to be alone. God, he really doesn't.

He wants to let someone care for him and comfort him and not feel guilty about it. He wants to be able to talk to someone so that all his thoughts aren't just trapped in his head to make him feel worse. He doesn't want to let the fact he's taking care of himself like how a seven-year-old takes care of their first plant in an empty container of yogurt sink in because it'll scare him too much. 

But Minhyuk is yawning. He wants to go home like how Jooheon wants to go home. And anyway, Jooheon isn't naïve enough to show someone he barely knows how much of a baby he is. Minhyuk has already seen enough.

"It's okay. I understand," Minhyuk lets out a quiet laugh before Jooheon can utter any words, standing from the chair onto black sneakers. "You're probably really tired. Get some sleep, okay? I hope you feel better, Jooheon-ssi. Take care of yourself, please."

"Thank you."

"Make sure you call Kihyun when you're discharged."

Jooheon isn't sure about that, but he nods, smiling. Minhyuk eyes crinkle at him before he walks to the door, and Jooheon hates that Minhyuk has to be so pretty and such a good person. It doesn't make any sense — Minhyuk being here and Minhyuk listening to him when it seems no one ever wants to.

"Minhyuk-ssi?"

Minhyuk pauses at the first syllable of his name and looks over his shoulder with curious, lifted brows. "Hm?"

"I —"

Jooheon isn't sure what he wants to say to him.  _Thank you? Stay, please?_  He doesn't remember ever opening his mouth to say his name, except that it was there on the tip of his tongue.

A hand runs over the back of his hair with nervous fingers. He quickly purses his lips. 

"Uh, it's nothing," Jooheon decides.

Because he's an idiot. 

Minhyuk just smiles at him with a slow nod, slipping out the door with a, "Want me to leave this open?" because he's nice and so thoughtful.

Too thoughtful, maybe, and Jooheon hates there's nothing of him he can give him in return.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

"I've got cake," Kihyun announces once he enters the room. Jooheon's status on being discharged is still unknown and Jung Hee isn't alongside hi bouncing happily and holding her uncle's hand. So, there isn't a reason for Kihyun to be here,  _especially_  with cake.

Jooheon eyes him suspiciously, and then the slice of chocolate cake Kihyun places on the small table at his bedside that could possibly be soaked in poison. "And why would you do that?"

"Because no one else is making your lonely ass cake."

He has a point. Carefully, Jooheon pulls off the saran wrap, and just a cautious sniff of the sweet scent of chocolate and sugar has him entirely devouring it in two, quick bites. Jooheon barely gives himself time to finish chewing before sucking the vanilla frosting off his fingers, then shamelessly licking it from the plastic.

Kihyun grimaces. "It's really not that serious."

"I'm  _so_  hungry," Jooheon grumbles. He frowns at the plastic now licked clean and tosses it aside in disappointment. "How did I go so long without eating? I think I will eat anything."

"Great. So that just means you're back to normal."

Jooheon scoffs through a smile, licking his thumb again as if there'll be some smear of frosting still on it. Never hurts to try. "Every time Jung Hee's mom invited me over for dinner, she told me how you guys would talk about how I cleaned all the cabinets after I left."

"I mean, you are sort of a human vacuum." Kihyun pulls his pillows from underneath his head with a chuckle and fluffs them before placing it under him again. "And anyway, you're allowed to say her name."

"Say whose name?"

"Sohyun," Kihyun replies. He rolls his eyes at the way Jooheon cringes at the first syllable. "Saying her name doesn't make a difference."

"I know," Jooheon mutters.

Kihyun's footsteps are slow when he walks to the empty hospital on the left of Jooheon's and plops down, feet flopping up in Converse shoes before dropping to the tiled floor. "We need to talk —"

"No. My head really hurts —"

"Jooheon-ah," Kihyun interrupts, voice stern, "we  _need_  to have a talk."

Mentally, Jooheon loudly groans and stubbornly kicks his feet underneath the blankets like Jung Hee whenever she's denied a second serving of snacks. But Kihyun already treats Jooheon like he's a child so he can only outwardly settle for a long sigh and clasp his hands over his belly. "What is it?"

"I told my parents you're planning on Jung Hee living with you."

"Ugh," Jooheon groans, dropping his head back onto the pillows, "you couldn't have waited until I told them myself?"

"And when would you have ever done that? You're scared shitless of them."

Jooheon doesn't really have an answer to that. In fact, he never actually thought of telling Kihyun's parents. He thinks he should have the right to decide he's taking Jung Hee home with him and be able to come get her and leave with her whenever he pleases.

"My parents are entirely against the idea of you taking care of her all the time," Kihyun explains, which is the least surprising thing he's ever heard leave a person's lips. "They're even more against it since now they know you can't even properly take care of yourself. They think you'll just end up like before."

"And? Of course they think that."

"What I'm trying to say is, this isn't going to be easy. And that's just putting it nicely."

"I shouldn't have to fight for my child," Jooheon argues. It squeezes at his temples to raise his voice. He inhales deeply, fluttering his eyes closed to gather his anger before he speaks again. "You guys are so persistent for me to not be in her life. Remember when you guys wouldn't even let me see her for  _two_  months?"

"There was a church retreat!" Kihyun says in his defense. "Jung Hee asked if she could go!"

"A church retreat isn't two fucking months!" 

Kihyun's face floods with color. He flushes so easily when he's angry, the tips of his ears already darkening before his mouth opens with flying words. "What's up with you taking your anger out on me all the time? You're not the only one who's having a hard life, and if you should be mad at anyone, you should be mad at yourself! It's your fault things are like this!"

Jooheon gapes. "And how? Because a teenager can't raise a life on his own?"

"It's the fact you were a teenager at all!"

"Whatever," he huffs, "I'll just sue your parents then, since everything always has to be a fight."

"Jooheon-ah," Kihyun sighs like saying his name takes every bit of energy from him, "I know this is hard for you, but can you stop thinking with your feelings for a few seconds? Do you really believe you could find a lawyer good enough for this? You're only supporting yourself, and you were dumb enough to give my parents all rights over Jung Hee when you were nineteen."

" _Temporary_  rights," Jooheon corrects.

"Temporary rights?" Kihyun scoffs. He furrows his brows at him, a humorless laugh exhaled from his lips. "Jesus Christ, Jooheon-ah, Jung Hee isn't some fucking condo my parents rented from you. They are her legal guardians. You even signed on it."

Jooheon stares at him, mouth opening and closing with no comprehensible words he can think of to pass his lips. He's not sure he was ever told this, or at least fully explained. He knows he signed something, agreed to something. Somewhere along the lines of doing what is best for Jung Hee, being reassured that once he gets his life together she'll be able to come back to him.

His life is together, and he wants to jump up from his bed and shove at Kihyun's chest until he's out of the hospital room, until he no longer has to see his face that only looks at him with pity.

He shouldn't pity him. Because he's wrong. Because Jung Hee is his and Jooheon can get her whenever he is ready because she's his. He  _made_  her, for fucks sake.

"You know what," Jooheon finally utters, voice quiet and deep, tired of things having to be hard all the time, tired of always having to be nice to people who are always assholes to him, "fuck you."

Kihyun widens his eyes at his words, as if Jooheon just wished death upon him.

"Fuck you," Jooheon says again. Just in case he somehow didn't hear it the first time.

"You're mad at _me?"_ Kihyun nearly shouts. He seems legitimately offended, and it's honestly surprising how he doesn't see how hard he actually makes Jooheon's life. "See? You _always_ take your anger out on me! I'm the only one on your side! I made you chocolate cake!"

And of course he sincerely thinks he's doing Jooheon some favor, as if Jooheon couldn't have gotten his own cake. It seems to be how he works, always doing something that's never asked of him. Just like his parents. Jooheon doesn't want anything from Kihyun or his family, yet they've deluded themselves into believing he has no idea how to make it by without their help that's never helpful.

Jooheon ignores him. He looks the other way, chin lifting angrily.

"Do you really think sitting around being angry is going to solve anything?"

"I don't care. Can you go? Please?"

He has every right to be mad. How dare Kihyun even feel the need to come and frustrate him even more, honestly, and it upsets Jooheon that he knows shouldn't even be surprised this is happening. And he isn't. He's used to it. He's used to this, and he's so  _done_  with having to be okay with it.

Kihyun stands to his feet and walks over to Jooheon's hospital bed, because in the end he never listens to anything Jooheon ever tells him. Maybe Jooheon should've screamed for Kihyun to stay. Beg him to make him more cake and take care of every other problems he thinks are in his life. Only then Kihyun would actually run out of here to never show his face again.

"Go," Jooheon groans. He curses under his breath with Kihyun just standing there not listening to him, and quickly turns his face away from him again, blinking over and over because he swears to fucking God if any single tear drops from his eyes —

"Jooheon-ah..."

"Get away from me." Jooheon leans back from the arms Kihyun tries to wrap around him. "I swear — don't touch me."

Kihyun is too stubborn for his own good, and there's only so much of a fight Jooheon can put up with before pain pours from him like blood flowing from an opened wound. Tears breaking from his eyes, soaking into Kihyun's jacket, and now that he's hydrated it feels like he's a bursting dam. Kihyun brings a small hand to Jooheon's head and pats it gently, smoothing a hand over his nape. Jooheon hates it, and he hates him. He hates that he can't even remember the last time someone comforted and the comfort has to be coming from fucking  _Kihyun_.

"I just want things to be easy," Jooheon pathetically sobs into his jacket. "For once."

Kihyun pats his back— _there, there_ , Jooheon imagines him saying—with a rhythm that's a bit too rough but sympathy nonetheless. "I know."

"Everything is  _so_  hard."

"I know," he says again, "but it'll get easier."

"No, it won't."

"It will."

"No," Jooheon exhales another pained sob, shoulders shaking, "it won't."

"Things get easier eventually," Kihyun promises him. He pats his back again and barely stumbles when Jooheon suddenly grips onto his jacket to cry even harder. "It's okay to feel that way, but it's hard, and then it gets better. It always gets better."

 Jooheon holds on to that as he cries. His hands are always so empty that he needs at least something to hold on to. Even if it's a lie.

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Something lights in Minhyuk when he steps on the bus and spots Jooheon's face under a black beanie cap. He looks up from the screen of his phone and softly smiles when Minhyuk shoulders through the swarm to stand by him. A little too quickly, maybe. But Minhyuk barely thinks of how strange Jooheon might think he is for pretty much running to be beside him, grinning and excited as if he's his golden retriever.

"Hi," Minhyuk utters.

Jooheon pockets his phone, leaving his hands in the sides of his denim jeans. "Hi, Minhyuk-ssi."

"No Jung Hee today?"

"Nah," Jooheon quietly chuckles at how Minhyuk glances a few times at the empty space at his leg, like Jung Hee will suddenly appear there. "She's with her grandparents right now, but I'm going to pick her up again in a few days."

Minhyuk pouts. "Well, why don't you bring her over to the café soon? Me and the puppies really miss her, and I've been contemplating a new cookie flavor I need a good opinion on. Hyunwoo's working at some dance studio these days, so it's pretty boring being by myself so much."

"I'll make sure to bring her over," Jooheon promises. "It seems you like her around more than you like me."

Minhyuk laughs loudly at the way Jooheon lifts his chin, playfully offended. "Well, she is a bit cuter than you."

"She is," Jooheon easily laughs, "her looks don't come from me at all."

"I don't think so."

"No?"

Minhyuk nods. "Her cuteness definitely has to come from you."

The bus lurches forward. Minhyuk is thrown into him, hand gripping onto the handle right where Jooheon's rests with Jooheon's other hand involuntarily gripping at Minhyuk's waist as if that'll actually somehow keep the two of them from falling.

A few heartbeats of awkward silence passes. More accurately: a lifetime.

And it's seriously a  _terrible_  time—with Jooheon's hand tight on his hip and their faces far too close that Minhyuk could probably close his eyes and still merely  _feel_  how their noses could brush with any sudden move—yet Minhyuk can't help thinking of how pretty Jooheon's brown eyes are, how his lips are so plush, like a pillow, perfectly curved as a heart.

"You good?" Jooheon asks, voice quiet. His eyes are wide, pink staining his cheeks.

Minhyuk quickly nods and scrambles away from him with a warmth spreading in his face he so desperately tries to ignore. "Looks like city life is becoming too much for me."

It's good enough for Jooheon let out a chuckle. He regains his composure, and it's fairly well they're able to forget about it. Just a few seconds of silence, and then Minhyuk dismissively coughs into his palm.

"Anyway," he smiles, "I was actually planning to come by your apartment and see you."

Jooheon perks up, the pink faded from his cheeks to only golden skin. "Oh?"

"Kihyun called me the other day and told me you were discharged. I wanted to bring some pastries over for you and Jung Hee to welcome you back home," Minhyuk explains. "Also, he told me to make sure you're eating."

"Ugh, he's so annoying," Jooheon grumbles. "Calling you to spy on me? Typical."

"I won't talk to him if it makes you feel better, but he's only annoying because he just really cares about you."

Jooheon only manages a scoff in reply. _Yeah, right._  Kihyun only cares about making Jooheon seem like a little kid. In his head, Jooheon's probably only seen as Jung Hee's mess of an older brother.

The thought of Kihyun never fails to give him a pounding headache. Easily, he readjusts his grip on the handle, finding something else more enjoyable to speak of. "I was meaning to ask you something, by the way."

"What is it?"

"An invitation," Jooheon replies, licking around his lips (that Minhyuk can't help thinking look so,  _so_  soft.) "Jung Hee's birthday is next month. I'm planning on throwing a party with some of her classmates."

"I love birthday parties!" Minhyuk grins. "Where are you having it?"

"Oh, just at my apartment."

"Isn't it sort of small?" he asks. Jooheon just silently purses his lips. "No, I didn't mean that in a bad way. My bedroom is literally in my living room. I'm just saying, it might get a little crowded, and, you know, kids love to run around."

"Well, yeah."  Jooheon shrugs. "But renting out a space would be a bit out of my price range. I thought about having it at the park, but the wind is supposed to be strong on the day I was shooting for."

"You could use Chewy."

Jooheon pauses, searching his face with confused eyes. "Seriously?"

"Yeoreum and Dambi would love all the kids!" Minhyuk grins. "Really, you should throw Jung Hee's party at Chewy."

"Jung Hee would love that." Jooheon smiles back at him, brows furrowed. "You'll just let me occupy your cafe for a few hours? Just like that?"

"Why not? Chewy is very kid-friendly. And I'm assuming the parents would be there too. It'd bring Chewy some activity and hopefully some money."

Jooheon shakes his head, smiling with his lips pressed together. "I don't get you, Minhyuk-ssi."

"I get that a lot," Minhyuk tells him. 

"You're so kind, and I haven't done anything for you."

Minhyuk shrugs his shoulders. "That's okay. You don't have to do anything for me."

"And that's what I really don't get. People always expect something. Except you."  Jooheon shakes his head again. "I want to say I'll repay you, but I have no idea how."

"I've got an idea," he says, a smile curling at his lips. Jooheon curiously lifts his brows at him. "You could give me your number."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

Jooheon rolls his eyes, slinging the strap of Jung Hee's pink duffle bag over his chest.

"Hyung," he huffs, "we have plans."

Kihyun ignores him, wrapping his arms around Jung Hee's small body again and hugging her tightly into his chest. "I'm going to miss you  _so_  much. Are you going to FaceTime me every night?"

"Yes," she replies, smiling. Kihyun carefully pats Jung Hee's head where her hair is pulled into two, tiny space buns. 

"I love you," he tells her. "Don't miss me too much. Three months will go by quickly."

"Too quickly," Jooheon chimes in, under his breath.

Kihyun still glances up at him with a glare. His ears are like a hawk, it seems, only when he wants them to be. "Don't miss me too much either, Jooheon-ah."

Jooheon's brows shoot up. _"Me?"_

"Oh, you'll see," Kihyun says, and his voice is as threatening as it always is. "I'm going to be all the way in California; my parents will be in Jeju for a month. There'll be no one to help out."

"Don't worry about me and Jung Hee. We'll get by well on our own."

"Okay," is all Kihyun bothers to respond with. He stands, pulling Jung Hee up with him to perch on his hip. "Be good to your father, all right? He's weak, you know. He can't handle much."

Jung Hee laughs at the hard stare Jooheon gives him. "I'll be good, uncle Kyun."

"Of course you will! You always are," Kihyun grins. He pinches her cheek, pulling another delighted giggle from her lips before he gently rests her on the soles of her sneakers again. "I'll be back so soon it'll be like I never left."

"I know," she says.

Jooheon places his hands on Jung Hee's shoulders. "We'll get going now."

Kihyun nods, glancing at Jung Hee with a hint of sadness. "All right. And also, regarding what we talked about earlier, don't forget to attend the session."

"I won't," Jooheon sighs. He readjusts the strap across his chest. "Tuesdays, right?"

"At eleven o'clock," he reminds him. "You can head to Jung Hee's school directly after."

A hand absently pulls back a loose strand of hair as he nods. "Yup."

"Be good." 

"I will."

Kihyun only gives him a stern stare.

 _"I will!"_  Jooheon whines. 

"You have to actually talk to him," Kihyun tells him, like he's already said before. Numerous of times. "And if you don't like therapy, then you don't have to go back. But if you want us to trust you, then you have to actually try and participate. Don't be stubborn."

"I won't!"

"I won't believe it until I see it, but all right, I won't push it." He takes Jung Hee by the hand and gently squeezes it. "Have fun with your dad, princess. I'll call you as much as I can."

"Okay!" Jung Hee grins. She runs to tightly hug her uncle again, letting herself be smothered with kisses. "I love you, uncle Kyun."

"I love you more." He kisses her lips and playfully wiggles the little buns on her head. "Take good care of her, Jooheon."

Jooheon crosses his arms. "I always take good care of her."

Kihyun opens his mouth as if there's some cheeky retort on the tip of his tongue, but one glance at Jung Hee's innocent smile has his lips closing again. He flashes a tight grin. "Sure. See you soon, Jung Hee-yah."

There's actually nothing Jooheon has planned for the day besides visiting Minhyuk at Chewy. Jooheon is pretty sure Jung Hee will play away all her energy with Yeoreum, and then fall asleep as soon as they return to his apartment in the bed Jooheon bought her a few days ago.

Her room is still a clean slate, far emptier and whiter than Jung Hee's bedroom with her grandparents, but Jooheon is just proud of the few things he was able to place inside. It already looks like somewhere Jung Hee would stay, with pink curtains and a large rug to match, wall art of pink and purple butterflies that flows from above her bed. Next is just a dresser and nightstand, some more plushies and other toys to sit on her bed, and more books to put on the tiny bookshelf in her room. But Jooheon's getting there. Maybe in a month or so.

Minhyuk is smiling at a woman when Jooheon pushes open the door of Chewy,  Jung Hee trailing in after him with eyes instantly searching for Yeoreum.

There's a few customers littered around. A child kicks his feet at a booth, cake pop in hand, a student sits alone with a laptop and a smoothie, filling the café with the light tapping of a keyboard, a group of friends occupying the large table at the back laughing into half-eaten cupcakes. Dambi sits on a table where two students smile and take pictures of her, caressing her white hair.

"You came!" Minhyuk grins. He hands the woman her change and quickly waves Jooheon and Jung Hee over to the counter. "Little Jung Hee-yah, you're even prettier than I remember."

There's no tinge of shyness in Jung Hee anymore. She accepts the compliment with a wide smile. "I have a new butterfly clip. See?"

"I see it!" Minhyuk comes from behind the counter, pushing a pen into a pocket in his jeans. "It's gorgeous. You really like butterflies, don't you?"

Jung Hee excitedly nods in response. "I used to have a butterfly. I took care of it when it was a caterpillar. Uncle Kyun told me I have to let it go when it was a butterfly."

"Oh," Minhyuk pouts, and then quickly smiles, "butterflies should always be set free, right?"

"Yes! Then they're happy."

"I like puppies because they can't fly away from you," Minhyuk jokes. He pets Jung Hee's head and nods where the little cake pop boy is playing with Yeoreum. "Yeoreum is over there."

"Go play," Jooheon says. Instantly, a smiling Jung Hee rushes off to join them. She's how Jooheon was as a child. Never nervous to approach another kid, eager to make new friends. He leans on the counter casually like his elbow propped on the glass belongs there. "She hasn't stopped talking about Yeoreum for a while."

"Really? That's so cute." Minhyuk laughs. He brushes his long hair back with a hand as he watches Jung Hee talk with the little boy, the two of them taking turns patting Yeoreum's golden head. "Look at how adorable they are! I wish I had a child."

And, well, that's a surprise. He shoots Minhyuk a curious glance. "Why don't you adopt?"

"Being a single parent probably sucks," Minhyuk nonchalantly replies. He looks at Jooheon, and then slaps a hand to the bangs at his forehead. "Right — sorry. That was a joke."

Jooheon can only shake his head, softly chuckling. "Yeah, right."

"I'm sorry," Minhyuk apologizes again. He smiles at him, sheepish, cheeks the slightest tinge of pink. "Do you still think I'm kind?"

"More like an asshole."

Minhyuk laughs loudly, hand nervously pulling through his hair again. "Sorry."

Jooheon shrugs it off. "'Suck' isn't really the word, but yeah, you should probably wait until you're serious with a guy before considering adoption."

"A guy?" Minhyuk echoes as he returns behind the counter again. His smile widens into a toothy grin, brown eyes crinkling. "I adore you. Thank you for noticing how gay I am."

"It was more like clairvoyance," Jooheon laughs, leaning on the counter with a hand perched under his chin.

"Oh, yeah, we obviously have a psychic bond."

Jooheon hums around a laugh. "Obviously."

"Being a father must be fun," Minhyuk sighs. He seems a little sad as he trails his eyes over to the cake display, thoughtful. "My mom says I'm too young to want a serious relationship, but I do. It's, like, hard, though? Having a connection with someone else seems impossible sometimes."

"Right." Jooheon nods, as if he has actually bothered an attempt to form a connection with someone since Jung Hee. 

"Everything doesn't have to mean anything all the time, but when I like someone, I sort of put my all into it. I think that's how it should be, you know? I think if you like someone, you should  _like_  someone. You should want to be with them and develop something deeper," Minhyuk rambles. He sinks his shoulders, resting his palms on the clear counter. "It just runs guys off in the end. I'm either too clingy or I'm taking things too fast."

"Maybe you are," Jooheon says.

Minhyuk looks up at him, eyelashes batting when he blinks. "You really know how to make me feel better."

"It doesn't have to be a bad thing," Jooheon laughs. "I mean, some guys your age don't want a deep connection, and that's fine. Some guys do, which is cool. You just have to find that guy who wants what you do."

"Nobody really wants that."

Jooheon wants that. But of course he doesn't say it. He still barely knows Minhyuk yet he wants to see his bright smile every morning, wants to let Minhyuk cling onto him and sink into every touch, let Minhyuk envelop him with all the love and affection he has, to be with him, to develop something deeper — whatever the hell that even means. Jooheon just wants it. He wants him.

Minhyuk sucks in a breath, and then exhales a small smile. "What about you? Are you dating at all?"

"Not really." Jooheon shrugs. "It's the last thing I've thought about."

Besides the fact he has imagined what a lunch with Minhyuk would be like ever since he first laid eyes on him. 

It took a lot of stolen glances (or stares, rather,) in buses and subways before Jooheon even said his first words to Minhyuk, and Jooheon hadn't even initiated the conversation. Truth is, he doesn't know how to get back into dating, and he has no idea how he'll handle it. It's scary, kind of. He's scared of rejection, and he's scared of introducing someone to Jung Hee.

If someone enters his life, they don't just enter  _his_  life. They enter his and Jung Hee's life with a dead mother and an over-protective uncle and dramatic grandparents all mixed together. It's hard for that to not be too much for a person to walk in on. And if that someone ever suddenly came to the conclusion that Jooheon is too clingy or taking things too fast and walked off, then it would be another person who leaves Jung Hee's life. 

Jooheon  _really_  wouldn't know how to handle that, let alone trying to form a connection with someone. How would he even explain it?

So, yeah, dating hasn't been a thing for a while.

"It's probably for the best," Minhyuk tells him. He straightens his back just as the bell rings on the door and a group of students enter, obviously tourist, scanning the café with curiosity. Minhyuk waves at them. "Hi, welcome to Chewy! Would you like to try our special white chocolate green tea frappe?"

"Iced salted caramel mocha, please," a girl stammers as the group approaches the counter. Her sentences are fragments as her and her friends list off their order, but Minhyuk is able to ring all seven of their orders up with Korean, English, and best attempts at Mandarin as well as he can.

"Okay, so this is sort of way out of line," Minhyuk says quickly as the girls leave to find a booth, "but is there a slight chance you have ever been a barista and know how to make iced coffee?"

"Uh," Jooheon utters, "no."

"Is there a slight chance you wouldn't mind getting behind this counter and letting me teach you how to make iced coffee?" Minhyuk asks next.

It really happens in no time that Jooheon is washing his hands in the back, and then given a rushed, two-minute lesson on the rules of making iced coffee. He listens to every word that comes from Minhyuk's mouth, and then watches him expertly prepare an iced mocha with such preciseness it's like a mastered art.

Minhyuk shakes up a bottle of whip cream and circles it around the rim in perfect, white swirls. "Think you could do that?"

"No," Jooheon easily replies.

Minhyuk only exhales a laugh and pats his back, resting his hand there. "I think you can."

 

 

 

. . .

 

 

 

The sun is setting with a tangerine and pink sky as Jooheon plods down the street with Jung Hee asleep in his arms, Minhyuk walking alongside them in slow, relaxed strides. It's quiet where they are. Perfect for a peaceful night stroll. Jooheon eyes where Minhyuk's hand is, thumb hooked in the pocket of his jeans, and he wishes he was impulsive and careless enough to just reach over and hold it. All he would have to do is just take him by the hand and slip his fingers in his palm, looking forward and keep quiet as if it's nothing. He bets someone like Minhyuk could just do that without hating themselves afterwards.

"Thanks for working with me," Minhyuk smiles suddenly, a bag of uneaten pastries in hand swinging at his leg. "Chewy gained some attention recently just as Hyunwoo started working overtime at his other job. I think he's going to quit on me soon."

"It seems you're handling the business well on your own, though," Jooheon tells him.

Minhyuk beams at the compliment as if that's all he has ever wanted to hear. "Thank you. I try my best."

"You're doing well." Jooheon switches Jung Hee's weight to his other arm, lifting her up a little to get a better grip around her small body.

"Switch?" Minhyuk offers. He pauses his footsteps and pulls the sleeve of Jooheon's shirt along with him, arms stretching out to hold her. Jung Hee stirs when she's passed into his arms, but she easily embraces Minhyuk's neck, sleepily rubbing her face into his tee shirt before her expression falls into a soft calmness again. 

"Honestly," Jooheon says, swinging the little, pink bag of pastries at his side, "I had fun."

"Yeah?"

"I mean, I had a better time behind the cash register than at the coffee machine, but it was fun." Jooheon smiles over at him as they begin walking again, their feet a slow rhythm along the road.

"You did great! Your agility could use a little work, and you could keep more coffee in cups than on your clothes"—laughing, Jooheon self-consciously places a hand over the large stain splattered on his shirt—"but overall, for a newbie, I was impressed."

A smile finds its way on Jooheon's lips. He rubs at his nape shyly. "Well, thanks."

Jooheon holds the door for Minhyuk when they make it inside of his apartment, kicking their shoes off at the door as quietly as possible to not snap Jung Hee awake. She exhales a yawn into Minhyuk's neck as Jooheon unstraps her jellies and stirs once Minhyuk gently rests her in bed and warmly tucks the sheets around her.

"Oppa?" Jung Hee mumbles. Her eyes peel open in tired slits, brows furrowed, voice quiet. But there's not even a chance to reply before Jung Hee is easily off chasing her dreams again, eyes fluttering closed and brows softening. 

A soft smile tugs at Minhyuk's lips. "She's really adorable."

"Yeah," Jooheon smiles. He pats her leg through the pink duvet with a gentle hand as Minhyuk stands to his socked feet, long limbs stretching over his head. "Can I get you anything to drink, Minhyuk-ssi?"

"Do you have any iced tea?"

There's not a second chair out on Jooheon's balcony so they stand, leaning over the railing and looking at the dark sky, and Jooheon thinks if the city weren't so bright how beautifully the moonlight would paint Minhyuk and his gentle smile, brown eyes crinkled and happy under overgrown bangs. His hair is a mess from stressed fingers absently treading through the long strands far too many times, but Jooheon likes it. Somehow the softness of it, the carelessness of it, makes him appear so much more gorgeous. Like hushed, raspy voices and droopy eyelids in a quiet morning. 

Minhyuk looks at him, smiling lips around the straw of peach tea. "Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"Not really. I'm off work for a while, and then I take Jung Hee to and from school," Jooheon replies. He leans on the railing, an elbow holding up his weight when he turns to him. "Why? What about you?"

"The café, of course," he chuckles. His front teeth press into the candy-cane straw with absent nibbles. "So, I can expect you tomorrow?"

"Guess so," Jooheon says, and some stupid grin spreads at his face when he looks away, hiding the warmth in his cheeks with a glass of lemonade.


End file.
